First thing’s first, if you want to pull off the boy look, please do me a favor and don’t wear boyfriend pants.

Exhibit A:

I’m sorry, nobody wants to see you try to pull off the saggy crotch look, because it just doesn’t work. Especially when you spend $260 to do it. You might as well take your paycheck and throw into the fire. A 20-something-year-old does not look good in something my grandmother would wear. Period. So onwards we go!

The essential to all boy looks, the boyfriend jacket. The love of my life:

Want to be an awesome boy? Wear exactly what this girl is wearing. A white tank top, this blazer (Monrow True Black Boyfriend Blazer, $296), skinny jeans, black boots. Don’t question me, just do it.

It also comes in white, purple and navy. That’s the thing about boyfriend blazers, even though the traditional black and navy are great, they are “contemporized” with color! This on luvcharlie.com, a good website to check out. Or you could get it from piperlime.com, for a dollar cheaper. Because every dollar counts.

This isn’t really an example of color, in fact it’s kind of the opposite… but I like this beige one from Nordstroms, on sale now for $118. This is nice because you don’t really see blazers that are beige too often. The only thing that bothers me is that this looks great on someone with a darker complexion, but on a ghost-white girl like myself, I’d probably look like a weird sand creature.

Drool. I love this blazer from Free People, it makes you look like Kiera Knightly from Pirates (and yes, that’s a good thing). Except I don’t know what fool put that white blouse on underneath. It just draws attention away from the jacket and to her frumpy crotch area. Only $150.

Lastly, another black blazer that’s nice, but has the 80’s shoulder pad style that I’m currently diggin’. This is only $425 (yeah sorry, that’s worth more than my car), but if you are a rich ho, then this is the way to go. Rhyme intended. I found this on madisonlosangeles.com, a really good site if you have tons of cash money.

Outerwear, etc:

Speaking of buying items worth more than my car, here’s a vest that’s boyish cool. It’s all leather and it looks… so… soft… I could sleep on it. So if you want a pillow-vest for a small price, it’s only $1,166. Thanks, MadisonLA, for reminding me of my place in this city.

Nothing says “boy” more than plaid. Mountain men, lumber jacks, scruffy hipsters in plaid… now you can be one, too. $360 from Soia & Kyo, who specialize in outerwear. This is really quite beautiful, especially with brown leather boots, yum.

Accessories:

I just love the Equestrian look, I can’t help it. This hat is adorbs, and has a small little horse pendant. UGH. Of course when paired with a black peacoat, you can’t go wrong. $144 from Eugenia Kim, who makes lots of beautiful equestrian-like “muffy” hats.

Since I snubbed the boyfriend pants, I thought I had to at least throw in a fedora. I’m not a big fan of these, but some girls can pull it off. So here’s one that I’d consider more than acceptable, for $175 you can get the Phoebe Price fedora. Just don’t get cocky and pose like this girl, it’s just annoying.

If you still wanna be a boy, you need a chunky, gaudy watch. That’s why I pick this from Michael Kors, it says “Oh I love Project Runway” and “Oh I’m such a masculine girl”. $164.

These types of shoes have been really popular and I can see why. Sort of. They are gorgeous, but they’re difficult to match up with an outfit. Skinny pants… and… miniskirts… anddd, long sloppy shirts with leggings? Plaid perhaps? Whatevs. All I know is that you must have these if you want to complete the look, or some variation of these shoes. These are $575 from Pedro Garcia Maddie. The most I ever spent on pair of heels was $60,and I bought them too small. I wore them once.

Boys would say these are “witch shoes”. I say “shut up”. They are damn good lookin’ and marked down from $250 to $100 on sites like Amazon. Ribbon laces? What an amazing and easy idea to fancy-up any shoe that needs laces. I love it.